Max out your hygiene and attraction levels with the new Lynx ‘Xbox’ range

Alright nerds, huddle up… we have to talk hygiene. The stereotypes are rampant among the public about our community that paint us as terribly unfit, socially awkward and lacking severely in the personal care department. Now while I don’t condone these assumptions one bit, when we have people heading to conventions like this, it’s hard to argue otherwise;

So what’s the solution? Introducing Lynx Xbox range.

Start with a shower. Lather on some of your fresh Lynx Xbox shower gel. Once you’re done there, freshen up with your sexy Lynx Xbox deodorant. Boom. That’s pretty much it. Maybe consider brushing teeth/flossing and combing your hair while you’re at it.

But in all seriousness, the VAST majority of gamers are very normal, very hygienic people. Which is why I’m so concerned about the fact that this scent has been “designed to capture the confidence of God Mode, the brilliance of Ori and the BOOM of Crackdown.”

I really don’t know if I want any of those things in my shower gel… Nor do I know what they mean…

Supposedly the smell is “a fresh scent of pulsing green citrus, featuring top notes of kaffir lime and winter lemon, aromatic herbal middle notes of mint and sage, and woody bottom notes of patchouli and clearwood” which actually sounds quite nice… although I really only know three of those words.

It feels like this product was designed by someone that once watched their kid play Fortnite and then Google’d “video games 2019” to feel relevant. I’m not doubting the ability of Lynx to make a great product – but I am questioning their marketing practices…

Lynx Xbox will be available as of July across Australia and while some might not like being targetted by a hygiene product because of their passion for gaming, at the end of the day it’s a great laugh and theoretically a solid product.

Pricing to be announced.