Message with grace, pleasantries and love

As you may have gauged by the tone of some of my articles EFTM is run by a dictator. Napoleon Long is one of those people who rarely has time for pleasantries. When he does, it’s just weird so it’s fair to say I’ve adjusted to it.

I’ve seen far worse.

Anyway the Long arm of the law extends beyond just normal, face to face conversations. It also extends to text messaging. Which is why I applaude the following news. Today, Messenger from Facebook, in partnership with Debrett’s a 250 year-old authority on good behaviour has launched ‘The Art of Digital Messaging: A Guide to Communication in the Digital Age’.

Now while I don’t deal with Trevor on Messenger I think the following guide should also apply to his WhatsApp messages, phone calls and just general conversation. 

Here are the top 10 do’s and don’t with some real-world examples of the daily struggle I face with with.

Hone your tone

Ok so YOU ARE AT CHATSWOOD

Keep it concise … but not too concise

OK – Well I can help with this Trev if need be.

Don’t multi-message

At 8.51am in the morning the 2020 CES Thread has no time for this rubbish

Share with care

Well that escalated. Take a Bex and a good lie down

Know your audience

I can’t go into this but it’s a typical Long demand.

Don’t leave them hanging

I can only refer back to this

Reply promptly – and wait before chasing

That’s a full 9 minute delay

Give up the ghosting

I don’t know what this means, but it sounds creepy.

Practice good Exit-quette

Sign off in style

I just wanted a window seat, that’s all.

Now look, having known Trevor for 20 years don’t overthink the above. He’s the most loyal person I know, one that doesn’t deviate from his own persona. He’s the real deal.

Messenger’s research also found:

61% of Australians surveyed would check if someone has read their message via read receipts

42% of Australians surveyed “sign-off” when ending a message conversation

One in four Australians surveyed would rather respond with an emoji if they are unsure whether a message was sarcastic or serious

One in four (25%) of Australians surveyed believe it is only acceptable to send a few words when communicating with an ex-boyfriend/girlfriend

This compares to 39% of Australians surveyed who believe it is acceptable to send multiple paragraphs to their significant other

Nearly half (42%) of Australians surveyed will follow up twice if they haven’t received a reply over message


“Communication in the digital age is easier and quicker than ever, but has etiquette evolved at the same pace? How do you exit a group chat and not cause offense? Is it acceptable to share humorous content with your colleagues? How long should you wait before chasing someone for a response? 

“We are delighted to work with Messenger from Facebook on a definitive guide to communication in the era of digital messaging, which was informed by extensive research as well as our 250 years of expertise in courteous and considerate communication.” 

Katherine Lewis, Debrett’s Etiquette Expert

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