The Best Movies You’ve Never Seen podcast – Monty Python’s Life of Brian

Best Movies You’ve Never Seen
Episode: Monty Python’s Life of Brian
Date: 22 May 2026
Hosts: Stephen Fenech & Trevor Long

[00:01:43] Stephen Fenech: Hello and welcome to The Best Movies You’ve Never Seen, our podcast about movies that I know very well. My name is Stephen Fenech, and I present them each and every week to someone who hasn’t seen them before, hence the name of the show. Trevor Long, welcome.

[00:01:57] Trevor Long: Great to be with you.

[00:01:58] Stephen Fenech: You are building up week to week a new movie. This is like every week.

[00:02:01] Trevor Long: This is a movie 240. Wow, crazy numbers.

[00:02:05] Stephen Fenech: You’re getting up there now. Well, you are going to see— well, you have seen for the first time Life of Brian. And just a warning, there are some, uh, some F-bombs. It’s a bit explicit in some points. Uh, Life of Brian was released in 1979, created by Monty Python. So we’re talking John Cleese, Eric Idle, Michael Palin, Terry Jones, Terry Gilliam, Graham Chapman. Now this group of people came up with this screenplay. They were in Barbados. They spent 2 weeks there and come up with a screenplay for this film.

[00:02:39] Movie Audio: Wow.

[00:02:40] Stephen Fenech: Now originally the film was meant to be financed by EMI, and, uh, they backed—

[00:02:48] Trevor Long: they probably released all their comedy albums and things, maybe.

[00:02:51] Stephen Fenech: Yeah, and their other movies. I think they’d made one, a couple before this one, but they thought this is, uh, too blasphemous.

[00:02:58] Trevor Long: The, the edgy religious pulling out, not good.

[00:03:01] Stephen Fenech: Okay, the Pythons sued EMI and settled out of court. Now remember at the end of the last show I told you that one of the Beatles financed the movie, George Harrison, who happened to be a massive Monty Python fan, right? And thought this could be the last chance to ever have another Python movie. So he created Handmade Films, and these are his words, pawned his home in London and his office building to raise the £4 million that was needed.

[00:03:39] Movie Audio: Wow.

[00:03:40] Stephen Fenech: So when he was asked, here’s what they said. Wait, what? What? Why did you do that? His answer: because I want to get to see it. He joked that it was the highest price ever paid for a cinema ticket. Now, Eric Idle joked that it was the highest movie ticket price ever. Wow, £4 million.

[00:04:00] Movie Audio: Wow.

[00:04:01] Stephen Fenech: Now the original concept of the movie, uh, they were throwing around a few ideas. The original concept was having Brian be the 13th Apostle. You know, there was only 12 apostles. Are you up with—

[00:04:11] Trevor Long: honestly, no. Yeah, there are 12 apostles, and this is all new to me.

[00:04:15] Stephen Fenech: Brian was supposed to be the 13th, and he would miss all the critical moments, like he’d miss out on the Last Supper, he’d miss out on it. Yeah, so it’s a bit of comedy value there. Um, Michael Palin’s diaries that he released much later, he, Graham Chapman, and Eric Idle were pushing for the title Brian of Nazareth as the, as the movie title. Uh, they didn’t use it because it would be confusion with Jesus of Nazareth, which was shot a couple of years earlier.

[00:04:44] Trevor Long: Oh, I’ve got another movie, right?

[00:04:45] Stephen Fenech: Yeah, so there was a movie called Jesus of Nazareth, and they said no, they’re going to think it’s the same movie. But what they did, it was shot in Tunisia using all the old sets from Jesus of Nazareth. No, they were still there. We’re going to use the sets.

[00:05:00] Movie Audio: Wow.

[00:05:01] Trevor Long: So they. Yeah, that’s hilarious.

[00:05:03] Stephen Fenech: Had you— you’d heard of this, surely?

[00:05:05] Trevor Long: Mate, genuinely heard of this. I’ve never seen it. I’m across Monty Python. Yeah. In the sense that I know what they are and this is going to offend some people, but as a Degen fan in Australia, like I just, I think of Monty Python as a similar kind of group of mates who just love comedy and like, you know, that’s how we get the castle and things like that, right?

[00:05:22] Stephen Fenech: Yeah.

[00:05:23] Trevor Long: So I knew what it was. I knew it was religious.

[00:05:25] Stephen Fenech: Yeah.

[00:05:26] Trevor Long: Because I know the song at the end. So I don’t know how, but I was singing along to parts of that.

[00:05:31] Movie Audio: So you—

[00:05:31] Stephen Fenech: because I remember thinking I was thinking to myself, how the hell is Trevor gonna— he’s gonna think, what the hell am I watching here?

[00:05:37] Trevor Long: Right?

[00:05:38] Movie Audio: Yeah.

[00:05:38] Stephen Fenech: And remember I sent you, I said, look, just think of this as being someone mistaken as the Messiah. Some bloke born on the same day as Jesus.

[00:05:46] Trevor Long: Yes. Being mistaken for the Messiah, which was interesting, but it didn’t make it help you later in the movie, right? Because it really only happens later.

[00:05:52] Stephen Fenech: I just want to give you that sort of the religious positioning of it. Yeah.

[00:05:55] Trevor Long: Yeah. Um, so yeah, no, I’m, I’m aware of the movie, uh, and I’m aware of how just culturally significant it is. Like so many people love and quote this movie.

[00:06:05] Stephen Fenech: Sure, I’ve heard the quote. It’s so quotable.

[00:06:08] Trevor Long: Like one of the ones that people would’ve seen so much in recent years is that scene of them sitting there in the Colosseum and they’re talking about sexuality and men wanting to be women and stuff. And when you think about this was made in 1979 and you go, wow.

[00:06:23] Stephen Fenech: Women’s lib, that’s it.

[00:06:24] Trevor Long: Like that whole idea of a man becoming a woman and having children, that is why that spreads like wildfire now as a viral clip because it’s just so stupid.

[00:06:32] Stephen Fenech: It was ahead of its time. Absolutely. Yeah. Well, there was some solid reaction and buzz to this movie. Norway banned the movie for 1 year for blasphemy. They gave it an 18 rating and including a warning from the censors at the beginning that, um, you know, obviously to warn them about the, the contents of the movie. Um, it had been marketed in Sweden as a film. Sweden sort of having a crack at Norway, right? So in Sweden they said the film is so funny that it was banned in Norway. Island banned the movie for blasphemy until 1987. Wow. Yeah, uh, yeah, so Torbay Council, Devon refused to show the movie until September 2008. Uh, Wales lifted its local ban in 2009 after cast member Sue Jones Davies was elected mayor. She’s a man now, lift the ban.

[00:07:29] Trevor Long: Wow.

[00:07:30] Movie Audio: Yeah.

[00:07:30] Trevor Long: That’s amazing.

[00:07:31] Stephen Fenech: The movie played continuously for 75 weeks in London’s West End.

[00:07:37] Trevor Long: I think George got his money back.

[00:07:39] Stephen Fenech: Yeah, so it opened on the 8th of November 1979 and was playing till the 15th of April 1981.

[00:07:46] Movie Audio: Wow.

[00:07:47] Stephen Fenech: Yeah, it was voted the funniest comedy ever in Channel 4’s— the UK Channel 4’s— 50 Greatest Comedy Films. It beat American Pie, Groundhog Day, Austin Powers, and the Full Monty. Wow, to be the funniest.

[00:08:04] Trevor Long: That’s remarkable.

[00:08:06] Stephen Fenech: Radio, this is your last exit before The Freeway. We’re going to take a deep dive into the life of Brian. If you haven’t seen it, you can catch it on Fetch.

[00:08:15] Trevor Long: And Fetch is your all-in-one entertainment service. Great value entertainment so you can enjoy less— more for less with flexible packs at simple monthly prices. There’s more content in one place. You can access live TV channels, monthly movies, streaming apps, and games in one easy menu. And it’s super easy and smart to use, so you can find whatever you want to watch faster with intuitive interface and universal voice search. Your free-to-air channels are covered. There’s lifestyle channels, there’s streaming apps, there’s games, there’s the Movie Box with 30 included on-demand movies every month, and so much more, including Fetch. You can take it on the go on your mobile or your tablet. So lots to, lots to enjoy, lots to love about Fetch. And you can find out more at fetchtv.com today. You can buy it through Telstra, major retailers, but basically head down now to fetchtv.com.au.

[00:09:01] Stephen Fenech: Okay, you have now seen properly Life of Brian and appreciated it for what it is. Just give us your first impressions. Was it what you expected?

[00:09:12] Trevor Long: It’s pretty much exactly what I expected. Like, you can see the kind of skit comedy concept because lots of little bits.

[00:09:20] Stephen Fenech: Yeah, well, you’re right, it wasn’t really a story, it was all little things.

[00:09:24] Trevor Long: And you can, you can imagine, I can imagine them as as comedic creators changing so much of this on the fly, like, “Oh no, no, do that again and let’s conclude that,” that kind of stuff. You can imagine being on set for this would have been wild. Intensia. I don’t know that it’s my type of comedy. I don’t know that enough of it landed with me. And maybe that’s a religious thing. Maybe I needed to be more religious to get some of it.

[00:09:46] Stephen Fenech: You went to a public school, didn’t you? I’m raised Catholic, went to a Catholic high school, Catholic schools. So you can enjoy laughing at it, I could appreciate it, I think, a little bit more than you.

[00:09:56] Trevor Long: Yes, so I feel like that, that is an issue for me, but it doesn’t take away my appreciation for their work here and just how much effort they put into this.

[00:10:04] Stephen Fenech: And what is your social media post here?

[00:10:06] Trevor Long: Uh, The Life of Brian is a pure comedy, perhaps dated in some ways but timeless in others. The Monty Python’s team take on religion, the Bible, and, well, all things related. Uh, always look on the bright side of life, folks.

[00:10:19] Stephen Fenech: Nicely played. Uh, I saw this at the movies with my friends, right? And this would be a great movie with your it was from a Catholic school. Yeah. And I got in trouble for it.

[00:10:30] Trevor Long: Oh, from your parents for going to see it?

[00:10:32] Stephen Fenech: Yeah, and they sort of realized the dramas around it. And also too, that there was like some solid nudity in it at one point. You know, there’s a woman that sort of around walking around naked and I said, look, I was only like 13 or so at the time, not even that. And yeah, had to do, had some explaining to do. Wow.

[00:10:54] Trevor Long: So, but I’ve even got in trouble.

[00:10:56] Stephen Fenech: So every time I watch it, I think of my mum and dad having a go at me.

[00:11:00] Trevor Long: Wow, that’s hilarious.

[00:11:01] Stephen Fenech: Yeah. Well, as far as the casting call goes, we know they’re all from Monty Python. John Cleese, Eric Idle, Michael Palin, Terry Jones, Terry Gilliam, Graham Chapman. Graham Chapman plays Brian, right?

[00:11:14] Trevor Long: The only ones I recognize, like if there was a quiz show to name Monty Python, I’d be like John Cleese, John Cleese, Michael Palin, and Eric Idle. That’s one of your questions for later.

[00:11:23] Movie Audio: Later.

[00:11:24] Stephen Fenech: Okay, uh, but basically 6 cast members played 40 characters.

[00:11:29] Trevor Long: Yeah, it’s crazy.

[00:11:30] Stephen Fenech: So they, they chopped and changed, which I think adds to it. No, 100%, it does add to the whole thing. Righty-o, before we get to the top scenes, let’s have a chat about Hisense. And they’ve just released their brand new RGB Mini LED TV. So if you are in the market for a new telly, Hisense has their brand new tech on display. So RGB is a whole new technology where the backlight and the color is created at the time, so it makes it for much, much purer and more natural color. Amazing brightness as well. It’s all run too by the HiView AI engine, so you’re getting amazing clarity. And also there is an anti-reflection and glare-free panel as well, so even if you are watching this in a bright environment as we do in Australia, you can— the reflections will not distract you. There is also the native 180Hz game mode, so not only can you watch the great movies that we talk about on the show, you can also play your favorite games as well. And on the audio side, 4.1.2 multi-channel surround sound out of the box.

[00:12:35] Trevor Long: Boom!

[00:12:35] Stephen Fenech: And also available in all those big sizes that we know customers love. If you want to check it out for yourself, you can see all the detail at hisense.com.au. Okay, now the start of this movie, we see it’s a bit of a case of mistaken identity here. We see the three wise men following a star to a stable in Bethlehem. They mistakenly praise a cranky baby, Brian, and his mother Mandy, before realizing the true Messiah is actually in the stable next door.

[00:13:07] Movie Audio: So you’re astrologers, are you? Well, what is he then? What star sign is he? Capricorn. Oh, Capricorn, eh? What are they like? He is the Son of God, our Messiah, King of the Jews. That’s Capricorn, is it? No, no, that’s just him. Oh, I was going to say, otherwise there’d be a lot of them. By what name are you calling him? O’Brien! We worship you, O’Brien, who are Lord over us all. Praise unto you, Brian, and to the Lord our Father. Amen. Do you do a lot of this then? What? This praising. No, no, no, no. Oh, well, um, if you drop in by again, do pop in. And thanks a lot for the gold and frankincense, but don’t worry too much about the myrrh next time, all right? Thank you.

[00:13:57] Stephen Fenech: So they leave and see the real Jesus and then come back.

[00:14:03] Movie Audio: Bloody mind, but still, they come back. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:14:12] Stephen Fenech: They just push her in the face, push her to the ground.

[00:14:16] Trevor Long: It’s funny because my initial, having not seen it, I’m sitting there going, well, this will be interesting to see where she takes takes this gold and frankly, like, how you— how Brian’s life is going to be as a rich man.

[00:14:26] Stephen Fenech: Yeah.

[00:14:26] Trevor Long: But no, no. So take it straight back.

[00:14:28] Stephen Fenech: Is he a Capricorn? Now fast forward 33 years later. So we know that obviously Jesus was born the same day as Brian, AD 33. And we see the Sermon on the Mount. So that’s allegedly Jesus on the Sermon on the Mount. And they’re there.

[00:14:45] Trevor Long: Is that a specific time in history?

[00:14:47] Stephen Fenech: That is.

[00:14:48] Trevor Long: Because I just assumed it was every Sunday. It’s an event.

[00:14:50] Stephen Fenech: Yeah. In Jesus’ life that Blessed are the peacemakers and the meek shall inherit the earth. That’s where all that comes from. And part of that is reflected in this.

[00:15:00] Trevor Long: I got that it was a sermon, I just didn’t know it was a one-off.

[00:15:02] Stephen Fenech: Part of it was that they couldn’t hear very well.

[00:15:06] Movie Audio: Do you mind? I can’t hear a word he’s saying. Don’t you do you mind me? I was talking to my husband. Well, go and talk to him somewhere else. I can’t hear a bloody thing. Don’t you swear at my wife. I was only asking her to shut up so we can hear what he’s saying, big nose. Don’t you. You call my husband Big Nose? Well, he has got a big nose. Could you be quiet, please? What was that? I don’t know, I was too busy talking to Big Nose. I think it was blessed are the cheesemakers. What’s so special about the cheesemakers? Well, obviously it’s not meant to be taken literally. It refers to any manufacturers of dairy products.

[00:15:42] Stephen Fenech: So what he actually said was blessed are the peacemakers, right? Because they couldn’t hear, they misinterpreted. See how that goes on for a fair bit?

[00:15:48] Trevor Long: Yeah, and see how you can see how if you don’t know. Yes, of course. I’m like, I thought it was still funny. Cheesemakers and all dairy products are still funny.

[00:15:55] Stephen Fenech: But it’s actually a reference to the peacemakers. Yeah, I’m glad I’m here to educate you.

[00:15:59] Trevor Long: Yeah, no, 100%.

[00:16:01] Stephen Fenech: Brian and his mother decided, yeah, let’s go to the public stoning.

[00:16:04] Trevor Long: So good.

[00:16:05] Stephen Fenech: Where a man’s going to be executed for saying Jehovah.

[00:16:08] Trevor Long: Now women aren’t allowed either.

[00:16:09] Stephen Fenech: Women aren’t allowed either.

[00:16:10] Trevor Long: She has to wear a fake beard.

[00:16:13] Stephen Fenech: So in a twist of irony, the crowd, mostly women in fake beards, end up stoning the official for blasphemy.

[00:16:20] Movie Audio: Did you hear him? Yeah! Are there any women here today? Very well. By virtue of the authority vested in me— Oh, lay off! We haven’t started yet. Come on! Who threw that?

[00:16:41] Stephen Fenech: It’s like school.

[00:16:42] Movie Audio: Who threw that stone? Come on! Sorry, I thought we’d started. Go to the back. Oh dear, always one, isn’t there? Now, where were we? Look, I don’t think it ought to be blasphemy just saying Jehovah. You’re making it worse for yourself. Making it worse? How could it be worse? Jehovah, Jehovah, Jehovah. I’m warning you, if you say Jehovah one. Once more, right? Who threw that? Come on, who threw that? Was it you? Yes. Right, well, you did say Jehovah.

[00:17:33] Stephen Fenech: Do you love how they’re all squeaky voicing? I was also—

[00:17:36] Trevor Long: because they changed the tone halfway through.

[00:17:39] Stephen Fenech: They’re all women there, it’s crazy. Next scene is in the Coliseum and we see the guy collecting body parts. Remember, he sees a hand with a ring on it and he can’t get the ring off and he puts the whole arm in his pocket. Now we see also the People’s Front of Judea. Says that we know Brian is seeking to join the anti-Roman resistance and he encounters the People’s Front of Judea for the very first time.

[00:18:05] Movie Audio: Are you the Judean People’s Front? Fuck off! What? Judea? Judean People’s Front. The People’s Front of Judea. Judean People’s Front. Wankers.

[00:18:21] Stephen Fenech: Can I join your group?

[00:18:22] Movie Audio: Nah, piss off. I didn’t want to sell this stuff. It’s only a job. I hate the Romans as much as anybody. Are you sure? Oh, dead sure. I hate the Romans already. If you wanted to join the PFJ, you’d have to really hate the Romans. I do. Oh yeah, how much? A lot. Right, you’re in.

[00:18:53] Stephen Fenech: So he’s in.

[00:18:53] Trevor Long: Because again, as a first-time viewer, you’re sitting there going, “Well, what are they going to make him do to prove that he hates them?” Well, this is what he does.

[00:19:01] Stephen Fenech: To prove his loyalty, they’ve asked him to paint anti-Roman graffiti. And a Roman centurion catches him. Yeah, but you think, oh, he’s screwed here. But instead of arresting him, he corrects his grammar, corrects his Roman grammar, and write it out 100 times.

[00:19:14] Trevor Long: So he writes it on the whole place.

[00:19:16] Stephen Fenech: So my interjections here are going to be called Brian Bytes. Okay, Brian Bytes.

[00:19:20] Trevor Long: I think we need to consult on those in future.

[00:19:23] Stephen Fenech: John Cleese, who is making him write it out, used to be a Latin instructor. So all the— when he was giving Brian the lesson in Latin, he was grammatically spot on what he was saying.

[00:19:33] Trevor Long: Yeah, that’s cool. Yeah.

[00:19:36] Stephen Fenech: Now the, uh, PFJ, which is the People’s Front of Judea, discuss— no, not at all. They discuss a plot to kidnap Pontius Pilate’s wife. And one of them, again, one of them says— I think, um, John Cleese’s character says, what has Rome ever done for us?

[00:19:52] Movie Audio: And what have they ever given us in return? The aqueduct. What? The aqueduct. Oh. Oh yeah, yeah, they did give us that. That’s true, yeah. And the sanitation. Oh yeah, the sanitation, Reg. Remember what the city used to be like? Yeah, all right, I’ll grant you the aqueduct and sanitation are two things the Romans have done. And the roads. Well, yeah, obviously the roads. The roads go without saying, don’t they? But apart from the sanitation, the aqueduct and the roads— Irrigation, medicine, education. Yeah, yeah, all right, fair enough. And the wine. Yeah, yeah, that’s something we’d really miss, Reg, if the Romans left. Public baths. And it’s safe to walk in the streets at night now, Reg. Yeah, they certainly know how to keep order. Let’s face it, the only ones who could in a place like this. All right, but apart from the sanitation, the medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, a fresh water system, and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us? Brought peace? Oh, peace! Shut up!

[00:20:58] Trevor Long: That’s funny.

[00:20:59] Stephen Fenech: It’s a good one. They do break into the palace, but only to run into their rival group, the Judean people, from the exact same plan at the same time.

[00:21:09] Trevor Long: The same plan.

[00:21:10] Stephen Fenech: They fight each other to the death, leaving Brian as the sole survivor to be captured.

[00:21:15] Trevor Long: Yeah.

[00:21:15] Stephen Fenech: Brian is brought before Pontius Pilate, who we discover early on has a bit of a speech impediment.

[00:21:21] Movie Audio: Now, what is your name, Jew? Brian, sir. Brian, eh? No, no, Brian. Ow! The little rascal has spirit. Has what, sir? Spirit. Yes, he did, sir. No, no, spirits, um, bobardo, a touch of daring-do. Oh, uh, about 11, sir.

[00:21:47] Stephen Fenech: I don’t like how every time Brian corrected him, John Cleese smacked him over the head. Yeah, but one of the iconic scenes has to be this one where Pilate discusses his friend Biggus Dickus, while his guards are struggling to not laugh.

[00:22:07] Movie Audio: I have a very great friend in Rome called Biggus Dickus. Silence! What is all this insolence? You will find yourself in gladiator school very quickly with rotten behavior like that. Can I go now, sir? Ah, wait, you have bigger stickers here than this. Wait, take him away! Oh, sir, no, no, I want him fighting rabid wild animals within a week. Yes, sir. Told you, I will not have my friend ridiculed by the common soldier. Anybody else feel like a little tickle when I mention my friend Dickus? Dickus? What about you? Do you find it— who is he, boy? Will I say the name? Because— because he has a wife, you know. You know what she’s called? She’s called Incontinent Incontinentia. Incontinentia buttocks.

[00:23:33] Stephen Fenech: What is all this?

[00:23:35] Movie Audio: I’ve had enough of this rowdy rebels.

[00:23:39] Stephen Fenech: Oh man, it’s a lot, right? I’ve got a Brian Byte here too. Yeah, this scene actually required a lot of planning. So what they did, they rehearsed it with the extras playing the guards, and they thought, well, on the day it came to shoot it, they blocked it all out and they thought, you know what, we need to have it because the extras have heard it all. You need someone who’s not heard it before to get the genuine laugh.

[00:24:06] Trevor Long: Yes.

[00:24:06] Stephen Fenech: And that’s what they did. So they swapped out all the extras for people who weren’t in the rehearsal.

[00:24:09] Movie Audio: Right.

[00:24:10] Stephen Fenech: So they could get it and be laughing. Like, that’s all genuine. Like, they’re all trying to not laugh. So that’s what they did. Very good. Now Brian escapes and falls from a high tower, only to be saved by a passing alien spaceship.

[00:24:26] Movie Audio: Mate, what the hell? What the hell?

[00:24:28] Stephen Fenech: Honestly, this is so out there. It was funny.

[00:24:31] Trevor Long: And I don’t think it was.

[00:24:33] Stephen Fenech: It was just, did you see the aliens, how they were upside down heads?

[00:24:37] Trevor Long: Yes.

[00:24:38] Stephen Fenech: And with hands holding them.

[00:24:40] Trevor Long: Mate, I didn’t get it at all. I’m thinking, I don’t understand the Bible stuff. What is going on here?

[00:24:45] Stephen Fenech: Yeah. Oh, this is crazy. And I love how it crashes and then he walks out and the bloke goes, you lucky bastard.

[00:24:52] Movie Audio: Yeah.

[00:24:52] Stephen Fenech: Crashes.

[00:24:53] Trevor Long: Honestly, not a fan of that.

[00:24:55] Stephen Fenech: I thought it was funny. That was just so out of left field. I, and being a Star Wars fan, I’m thinking, oh, that’s like Star Wars. Like at the time, 1979, I’m thinking, yes.

[00:25:06] Trevor Long: Okay, so that makes sense. It’s sort of the height of that era, in that hype period. Early trilogy, yeah, right.

[00:25:13] Stephen Fenech: I think they wanted to borrow a little bit of that. Okay, righto. So he’s hiding from the Romans now, and Brian disguises himself as a preacher. He begins babbling nonsense to blend in, but when he tries to stop, the crowd interprets his silence as a divine mystery.

[00:25:27] Trevor Long: Yeah.

[00:25:28] Stephen Fenech: So the crowd begins to follow him, and they start worshiping his sandal and a gourd.

[00:25:38] Movie Audio: He has given us a sign! He has given us a shoe! The shoe is a sign! Let us follow his example! Let us, like him, hold up one shoe and let the other be upon foot, for this is his sign that all who follow him shall do likewise. No, no, no, the shoe is a sign that we must gather shoes together in abundance. Cast off the shoes, follow the goat!

[00:26:04] Stephen Fenech: So when he, when he tries to hide from them, he jumps into a hole.

[00:26:08] Trevor Long: I like this bit because there’s been silence, but he makes him speak.

[00:26:13] Stephen Fenech: He steps on his shoe and makes him speak for the first time in decades and then can’t shut him up. Oh, my foot!

[00:26:20] Movie Audio: Oh, damn, damn, damn! I’m sorry. Oh, damn, damn, and blasted! I’m sorry. Shh! And you shmeep! 18 years of total silence and you shmeep! What? I’ve kept my vow for 18 years. Not a single recognizable articulate sound has passed my lips. Could you be quiet for another 5 minutes? Oh, it doesn’t matter now. I might as well enjoy myself. The times in the last 18 years I wanted to shout and sing and scream my name out.

[00:26:52] Stephen Fenech: He’s trying to say shut up.

[00:26:53] Trevor Long: They can’t shut him up because he’s trying to hide from the people. Now that he’s spoken for the first time, he’s going to keep it going.

[00:26:58] Stephen Fenech: And their followers find him and they refuse to leave Brian alone.

[00:27:03] Movie Audio: All right, I am the Messiah. He is, he is the Messiah. Now fuck off. How shall we fuck off, oh Lord? Oh, just go away, leave me alone.

[00:27:19] Stephen Fenech: That’s funny. How shall we fuck off? I just like that.

[00:27:23] Trevor Long: Now, fuck off.

[00:27:26] Stephen Fenech: But he’s rescued by Judith. Remember the young girl that he had his eye on from the PFJ? He’s rescued her, right? And the next morning he wakes up naked beside her.

[00:27:35] Trevor Long: Yeah.

[00:27:36] Stephen Fenech: Did you like this bit where he gets up, sort of has a stretch, opens up everything, he’s nude, and there’s thousands of people outside the window? Stark bollocky, off he goes. Then the mother comes in angry, uh, that there’s a mob outside and finds Judith, yeah, defending him. Yeah, but Brian’s mother decides to address the crowd.

[00:27:57] Movie Audio: Now you listen here, he’s not the Messiah, he’s a very naughty boy. Go away! I’m his mother, that’s who. Behold his mother! Behold his mother! Hail to thee, Mother of Rhymes! Blessed art thou, O Canada! All praise to thee, now and always! Now, now, don’t think you can get around me like that. He’s not coming out, and that’s my final word. Now shove off! No! Did you hear what I said? Yes! Oh, I see. It’s like that, is it? Yes! Aha! Then you can see him for 1 minute, but not 1 second more! Do you understand? Yes! Promise? Well, alright. Alright, here he is then. Come on, Brian, come and talk to them. But Mum, Judith— Leave that Welsh tart alone! Good morning. Please, please, please listen. I’ve got one or two things to say.

[00:29:21] Stephen Fenech: As he goes on to say, you’re all individuals, and they all say, yes, we’re all individuals. Yeah, so next up, uh, Judith is telling Brian that they’re all behind him. And he should continue with the cause.

[00:29:36] Movie Audio: Brian, you are fantastic! You weren’t so bad yourself. No, just now, it’s quite extraordinary. What? Oh, that was it. We don’t need any leaders. You’re so right. Reg has been dominating us for too long. Well, yes, it needed saying, and you said it, Brian. You’re very attractive. It’s our revolution. We can all do it together. I think I think we’re all behind you, Brian. The revolution is in your hands. What? No, that’s not what I meant at all. You’re fucking nicked, me old beauty. Right, it’s caught.

[00:30:12] Trevor Long: You’re nicked.

[00:30:13] Stephen Fenech: Caught by the Romans and sentenced to crucifixion. Yeah. Now there’s a long line of people, 139 people, being crucified that day.

[00:30:22] Movie Audio: Crucifixion? Yes. Good. Out of the door, line on the left. Line on the left, one cross each. Next. Crucifixion. Yes, good. Out of the door, line on the left, one cross each. Next. Crucifixion. Uh, no, freedom. What? Freedom for me. They said I hadn’t done anything, so I could go free and live on an island somewhere. Oh, well, that’s jolly good. Well, off you go then. Nah, I’m only pulling your leg. It’s crucifixion, really.

[00:30:52] Trevor Long: Oh, I see.

[00:30:54] Movie Audio: Very good. Well, out of the door, one cross each line on the left.

[00:30:59] Stephen Fenech: Thank you.

[00:31:00] Trevor Long: That is a very good little bit. I like it.

[00:31:03] Movie Audio: Yeah.

[00:31:03] Stephen Fenech: Um, now in the tradition of clemency, Pilate offers to release a prisoner, but again, crowds just mocking his speech impediment.

[00:31:11] Trevor Long: They’re just yelling names, Kenny Callender style.

[00:31:13] Movie Audio: People of Jerusalem, well, is your friend. To prove our friendship, it is customary at this time to release a wanderer from our prison. Um, would you have me release— Release Roger! Yeah! Very well, I shall release Roger. Sir, we don’t have a Roger, sir. What? We don’t have anyone of that name, sir. Ah, we have no Roger. Well, what about Wadwick then? Yeah, enjoy. Why do they titter so?

[00:32:23] Trevor Long: Very good, very good.

[00:32:26] Stephen Fenech: Judith rushes into the crowd and calls for Brian to be released, and he goes, Brian! And he declares that he’s going to be released, but Brian’s already on his way to be crucified.

[00:32:35] Trevor Long: They all are, they’re off.

[00:32:36] Stephen Fenech: So we go to the Hill of Golgotha. Where Brian is nailed to a cross. And I love how, you know, the PFJ arrived, and rather than save him, they just sort of gave him a little speech.

[00:32:48] Movie Audio: Rich! Hello, sibling Brian! Thank God you’ve come, Rich. Uh, yes, well, I think I should point out first, Brian, in all fairness, that we are not in fact the rescue committee. However, I have been asked to read the following prepared statement on behalf of the movement. Are we the People’s Front of Judea, brackets, officials in The Chaldeans and the Yiddish do hereby convey our sincere fraternal and sisterly greetings to you, Brian, on this, the occasion of your martyrdom. What? Your death will stand as a landmark in the continuing struggle to liberate the parentland from the hands of the Roman imperialist aggressors, excluding those concerned with drainage, medicine, roads, housing, education, viticulture, and any other Romans contributing to the welfare of Jews of both sexes and hermaphrodites. Signed on behalf of the PFJ, etc. And I’d just like to add on a personal note my own admiration for what you’re doing for us, Brian, and what must be after all for you a very difficult time. Reg, what are you going to do? Goodbye, Brian, and thanks.

[00:33:48] Trevor Long: That’s it.

[00:33:49] Movie Audio: Hold on, Brian, give it up, lad. So what do you think, work, Brian?

[00:33:53] Trevor Long: That’s funny.

[00:33:54] Stephen Fenech: So, uh, but what happens, they do arrive to release Brian.

[00:34:00] Movie Audio: There is Brian Nazareth, you bastard! I have an order for his release, you stupid bastard! Uh, I’m Brian of Nazareth. What? Yeah, I’m Brian of Nazareth. Take him down! I’m Brian of Nazareth! I’m Brian! I’m Brian! I’m Brian! I’m Brian! I’m Brian! And so’s my wife!

[00:34:24] Stephen Fenech: Now that scene is another Brian Byte for you. That scene is very similar to a scene in, uh, it’s sort of a parody of Spartacus. Remember, have you heard the, the, when they all, the rebels stand up and say, “I’m Spartacus!” Now I have heard that. Yeah, that’s a like a takeoff of that.

[00:34:38] Movie Audio: Love it.

[00:34:40] Stephen Fenech: But then the Judean People’s Front appear, they come over the hill.

[00:34:43] Trevor Long: Yeah, you think, oh, they’re going to save him, this is going to be great, but they lift up the middle part of their armor with exposing a hole in their armor and they just commit suicide.

[00:34:50] Stephen Fenech: They’re the suicide committee, and that was their protest, and they leave him still hanging there. So Brian’s in despair, and a fellow crucifix, played by Eric Idle, encourages him to cheer up.